This week bitter/sweet...but oh the sweet~

I have set back this week almost as if I have been observing life from the sidelines. Not in a bad way, in a good way. Sometimes, that is the only way to see an honest perspective on things. Well, we all have struggles...We like to think ours are more than anyone else understands but truth is we all have things that cause us stress and we can't say one of us hurts more or less than any other~ We really don't know each others reality. I can through God's help look and see that my stresses are still evidence of a life blessed by God. For better or worse ya know? Well, this week being challenging as it was, God used it to teach me a concept that I am so excited about. God gave me the opportunity this week to practice going beyond what I "feel" and seeking his heart. Our feelings can rob us of so many of God's blessings. Just because you might be justified in feeling one way doesn't mean that God has given you permission to act on it! I teach my kids, just because you feel mad at each other, that doesn't mean you should be able to go hit that person. I teach them to deny that feeling because if they indulge that behavior, their "feeling" just got them into a whole mess of trouble. Right? God wants us to understand the same concept spiritually. I had to do some praying, and choose behavior that was opposite of how I felt. It wasn't easy. I just kept praying, " Ok, God, anytime you are ready exchange my heart for yours because my heart kinda stinks." Well, God waited to do that until after I obeyed his word. Once I obeyed his word, he filled me with an out of body peace. All the worry and fretting, hurting, and frustration belonged to him. I realized God wants us to deny our feelings and obey him for the benefit of our heart. It didn't have anything to do with anyone else, it was a work God did in me. The blessing from doing that is in the midst of a storm, I can sleep in the bottom of the boat. After being obedient God has blessed my family this week. Money was tight and I wasn't sure what this week was gonna hold. The next morning after obeying God, someone offered to fill up my gas tank in my van, then my dad called with a late birthday present of $100. I just sat back and marveled at God all week. It brings me to tears to know of his great love. I am so thankful to God for this lesson. The trials are still there, but I couldn't be more happy. I know that God will always be there and I trust him with my heart more than I trust my feelings with it.